Best National Geographic Photos 2008

Best National Geographic Photos of 2008

Thanks to CAROLYN in NY for this submission. She wins this week INSPIRATION SUBMISSION!

Way to go, Carolyn!

Get MORE fun and inspiration... no charge subscription available at
http://LaughWithPat.Blogspot.com

Amazing Gallery of 19 professional photos by National Geographic

The Power of Appreciation

One day a teacher asked her students to list the names of the
other students in the room on two sheets of paper, leaving a
space between each name.

Then she told them to think of the nicest thing they could say
about each of their classmates and write it down.

It took the remainder of the class period to finish their assignment,
and as the students left the room, each one handed in the papers.

That Saturday, the teacher wrote down the name of each student
on a separate sheet of paper, and listed what everyone else had
said about that individual.

On Monday she gave each student his or her list. Before long,
the entire class was smiling. 'Really?' she heard whispered. 'I
never knew that I meant anything to anyone!' and, 'I didn't know
others liked me so much,' were most of the comments.

No one ever mentioned those papers in class again. She never
knew if they discussed them after class or with their parents,
but it didn't matter. The exercise had accomplished its purpose.
The students were happy with themselves and one another.

That group of students moved on.

Several years later, one of the students was killed in VietNam
and his teacher attended the funeral of that special student.
She had never seen a serviceman in a military coffin before.
He looked so handsome, so mature.

The church was packed with his friends. One by one those
who loved him took a last walk by the coffin. The teacher
was the last one to bless the coffin

As she stood there, one of the soldiers who acted as pall
bearer came up to her. 'Were you Mark's math teacher?'
he asked. She nodded: 'yes.' Then he said: 'Mark talked
about you a lot.'

After the funeral, most of Mark's former classmates went
together to a luncheon..... Mark's mother and father were
there, obviously waiting to speak with his teacher.

'We want to show you something,' his father said, taking
a wallet out of his pocket 'They found this on Mark when
he was killed. We thought you might recognize it.'

Opening the billfold, he carefully removed two worn pieces
of notebook paper that had obviously been taped, folded
and refolded many times....... The teacher knew without
looking that the papers were the ones on which she had
listed all the good things each of Mark's classmates had
said about him.

'Thank you so much for doing that,' Mark's mother said.
'As you can see, Mark treasured it.'

All of Mark's former classmates started to gather around.
Charlie smiled rather sheepishly and said, 'I still have my
list. It's in the top drawer of my desk at home.'

Chuck's wife said, 'Chuck asked me to put his in our
wedding album..'

'I have mine too,' Marilyn said. 'It's in my diary'

Then Vicki, another classmate, reached into her pocket
book, took out her wallet and showed her worn and
frazzled list to the group. 'I carry this with me at all
times,' Vicki said and without batting an eyelash, she
continued: 'I think we all saved our lists'

That's when the teacher finally sat down and cried. She
cried for Mark and for all his friends who would never
see him again.

The density of people in society is so thick that we for
get that life will end one day. And we don't know when
that one day will be.

So please, tell the people you love and care for, that
they are special and important... Tell them, before it
is too late.

Grandma's Hands

GRANDMA'S HANDS A must read thru to the end.

Grandma, some ninety plus years, sat feebly on the patio bench. She didn't move, just sat with her head down staring at her hands.

When I sat down beside her she didn't acknowledge my presence and the longer I sat I wondered if she was OK.

Finally, not really wanting to disturb her but wanting to check on her at the same time, I asked her if she was OK. She raised her head and looked at me and smiled. 'Yes, I'm fine, thank you f or asking,' she said in a clear strong voice.

'I didn't mean to disturb you, grandma, but you were just sitting here staring at your hands and I wanted to make sure you were OK,' I explained to her.

'Have you ever looked at your hands,' she asked. 'I mean real ly looked at your hands?'

I slowly opened my hands and stared down at them. I turned them over, palms up and then palms down. No, I guess I had never really looked at my hands as I tried to figure out the point she was making.

Grandma smiled and related this story:

'Stop and think for a moment about the hands you have, how they have served you well throughout your years. These hands, though wrinkled shriveled and weak have been the tools I have used all my life to reach out and grab and embrace life.

'They braced and caught my fall when as a toddler I crashed upon the floor.

They put food in my mouth and clothes on my back. As a child, my mother taught me to fold them in prayer. They tied my shoes and pulled on my boots. They held my husband and wiped my tears when he went off to war.

'They have been dirty, scraped and raw , swollen and bent. They were uneasy and clumsy when I tried to hold my newborn son. Decorated with my wedding band they showed the world that I was married and loved someone special.

They wrote my letters to him and trembled and shook when I buried my parents and spouse.

'They have held my children and grandchildren, consoled neighbors, and shook in fists of anger when I didn't understand.

They have covered my face, combed my hair, and washed and cleansed the rest of my body. They have been sticky and wet, bent and broken, dried and raw. And to this day when not much of anything else of me works real well these hands hold me up, lay me down, and again continue to fold in prayer.

'These hands are the mark of where I've been and the ruggedness of life.

But more importantly it will be these hands that God will reach out and take when he leads me home. And with my hands He will lift me to His side and there I will use these hands to touch the face of God.'

I will never look at my hands the same again. But I remember God reached out and took my grandma's hands and led her home. When my hands are hurt or sore or when I stroke the face of my children and husband I think of grandma. I know she has been stroked and caressed and held by the hands of God.

I, too, want to touch the face of God and feel His hands upon my face.

When you receive this, say a prayer for the person who sent it to you, and watch God's answer to prayer work in your life. Let's continue praying for one another.

Passing this on to anyone you consider a friend will bless you both..

Passing this on to one not yet considered a friend is something God would do.

************************************************
Thanks to reader Arlene in Walton NY for this inspiring post :)


*****************

WHO do you need to forgive?

ANSWERS at
ILoveForGIVEness.com

MATISHA SWIMS WITH DOLPHINS... AAH

See Matisha's web site for incredible dolphin pics. And wonderful uplifting music
http://www.songofhome.com/





What ELSE Comes from the sea?

Man Reunites with Lions

The men raised this lion when he was a cub, and soon after he reached a size where they could not take care of him they sent him to his homeland. This is footage of their 1 year reunion.

Every sixty seconds you spend angry, upset , or mad, is a full minute of happiness you'll never get back …

Today's Message of the Day is:

Life is short, Break the rules, Forgive quickly, Kiss slowly, Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably, And never regret anything that made you smile.

LAUGHING POPE VIDEO

Thanks to Richard Hartzell for this week's winning entry!

THIS BIRD LOVES TO DANCE. CLICK HERE TO LAUGH

Beauty Where I AM Planted

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.

Sometimes when I feel really... I don't know... I'll say 'funky' for
lack of a better word, I just go outside and surround myself with
beauty. I sit on my back deck and breath in Mother Nature.

A visitor
to my back yard may sit down, look around and see a small, mostly
barren yard, a shed, a trash dumpster and a dirt alley. A typical
setting in a largely working class area in a Midwestern town. You
might be inclined to think that beauty has escaped this place. That
couldn't be farther from the truth.

When I sit there I see so much
beauty that it sometimes takes my breath away.

I see the squirrels
running from branch to branch in an endless game of tag. I see many
types of birds singing light heartedly, in perfect harmony with
nature, without a care. I see the spider that has intricately woven a
web that glistens in the light, perfect like a snowflake. I see the
different shapes of the leaves on the trees, and hear how they
whisper in the wind. I see the tall, majestic sun flowers, that live
near the alley, stretching, reaching for the life giving sun. I see
the cat on the fence that walks along the top, gracefully, knowing
that he can because no one has ever told him that he can't. I see the
tree across the way that is living in harmony with a trumpet vine.
The two have created a beautiful mix of a green canopy speckled with
intensely orange blossoms. I see the sky, blue in the day, velvety
black in the night, speckled with infinite possibilities.

Everywhere
I look I see beauty, be it in the fruits of Mother Nature here on our
Earth, or in the pure Love, Energy, and sense of being connected to
All That Is, that I breath in from the Universe that surrounds us. I
find all of this and more when I sit on my back deck, with a small
yard, in a small town on the prairie.

My point is that beauty
surrounds us wherever we are, no matter the place or time, and can
always be tapped into for the relief of any 'funky' feelings we may
be having.

I know it works for me, and I thought I would share that
with you.


From KIM, posted on this yahoo group
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Lightworkers_Society/



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Proof of Re-Incarnation. The Beatles in Other Eras

John! Paul! George! Ringo!

The world has never known a more popular band. They were "the thing" in the 1960s, but how would they fare in another era?

YOU GOT A FRIEND IN ME. LOL :)))

OK, MARGE wins again. Our LAUGH OF THE WEEK CONTEST

CLICK HERE to see it :)))

ELEVATOR MUSIC

DOUBLE CLICK on this video to go right to YouTube.

There are LOTS of Elevator Movies there.... in case you really like this one :)







HAVE A FUNNY DAY :)

WORLD BLESSING DAY 7-17-07

Full details at FireTheGrid.org

Join us in blessing, sending joy, and praying for our beautiful planet. Anytime :)

CLICK HERE TO SEE SECRET PHOTO OF PAT BLOGGING LATE AT NIGHT

DAFT PUNK

How do you get this gig?

JUST FOR FUN

Little Angel Sings

Thanks to Marge for submitting this winning entry this week :)
.

I BELIEVE IN YOU!

Here is the theme song from our global networking team. Enjoy.

Learn about the networking lifestyle of play, fun and ease - while paying ALL the bills at http://NETWORKwithPAT.blogspot.com

To YOUR Xtreme SUCCESS :)))

The REMEMBER Song, Tom Rush. HA HA HA

I've been waiting 45 years to be an overnight sensation, and it's finally happened! A video clip of my performance of The REMEMBER SONS (a/k/a Remember?) has "gone viral." ( I felt terrible at first, thinking I was being accused of being a musical equivalent of Ebola; but my children explained to me that this was a Good Thing.) In the past couple of weeks it's garnered well over 1.4 MILLION PLAYS, and is climbing rapidly. (It has been proposed that this may be because of just one of you who can't remember he's already seen it, but I think that's mean.)




Enhance your memory with LimuPlus and other supplements! Click here!

Singing Dog. Singing with Otto

The lady in the faded gingham dress

Got this story in with a Stanford T-shirt I received in the mail today.

"A lady in a faded gingham dress, and her husband dressed in a homespun threadbare suit, stepped off the train in Boston and walked timidly into the Harvard University President's outer office without an appointment.

The secretary could tell in a moment that such backwoods, country hicks had no business at Harvard, and thought they probably didn't even deserve to be in Cambridge.

"We want to see the president," the man said softly.

"He'll be busy all day," said the secretary.

"We'll wait," the lady politely replied.

For hours the secretary ignored them, hoping that the couple would finally become discouraged and leave. When they didn't, the secretary grew frustrated and finally decided to disturb the president.

"Maybe if you see them for just a few minutes, they will leave," she whispered.

He sighed and nodded. He detested gingham dresses and homespun suits cluttering up his outer office. The president, stern faced and with absolute dignity, strutted toward the couple.

The lady spoke to him. "We had a son who attended Harvard for one year. He loved Harvard. He was happy here. But about a year ago, he was accidentally killed. My husband and I would like to erect a memorial to him somewhere on campus."

The president was not moved.

"Madam," he said, "We can't put up a satue for every person who attended Harard and died. If we did, this place would look like a cemetery."

"Oh no," the lady explained quickly. "We don't want to erect a satutue. We thought we would like to give a building to Harvard."

The president rolled his eyes. He glaced at the gingham dress and homespun suit, then exclaimed, "A building! Do you have any earthly idea how much a building costs? We have over seven and a half million dollars in the physical buildings here at Harvard!"

For a moment the lady was silent. The president was pleased he had gotten through to her. Maybe they would leave now.

The lady turned to her husband and said quietly, "Is that all it costs to start a university? Why don't we just start our own?"

Her husband nodded.

The president's face wilted in confusion and bewilderment. Mr. and Mrs. Leland Stanford then got up and walked away, traveling to Palo alto, CA where they established the university that now bears their name - Stanford University - a memorial to their son that Harvard no longer cared about.

You can easily judge the character of others by how they treat those who they think can do nothing.

A true story - by Malcolm Forbes."

COSMONAUTY DANCE

Social Hug Healing is Aussie Land.

Here is a video specially for Mom's day on social healing!

Thank you to Cynthia & Bill for submitting this awesome story!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PpzkHhgcZG4

The story behind this is:

There's this guy, Juan Mann, in Australia who decided to
hold a.. "FREE HUGS".. sign in public places to promote
random acts of kindness.

Anyway, he was gaining so much publicity that the cops
stepped in and said he could no longer give out free hugs
without a $25 million insurance policy.

So, he gets 10,000 signatures to petition and wins! Cool.

This is a video by an Australian band called Sick Puppies.
They had shot a lot of footage of the free hugs guy and when
they heard his grandmother died, compiled the footage, put
it to their music and sent it to him to cheer him up like he
did for so many on a daily basis.


Have a blessed day!

Pat

patcrosby@gmail.com



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INSPIRING FRENDS

Thanks to PAUL, AKA as SIMPLE SIMON for this weeks winning inspiration submission. Way to GO!

AWESOME HUBBLE SPACE PHOTOS

SEE MORE HERE

.


LOL! Travel Security Update! LOL!

NEW YORK -- A public school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy
International Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession
of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule and a calculator. At a
morning press conference, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales said he believes
the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement.

Mr. Gonzales did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI
with carrying weapons of math instruction.

"Al-gebra is a problem for us," Gonzales said. "They desire solutions by
means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of
absolute values."

"They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and refer to themselves as
'unknowns', but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of
the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country."

As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, 'There are 3 sides to
every triangle'."

When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had
wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given
us more fingers and toes."

Thanks to Linda Miller for this week's WINNING JOKE submission!

http://biospecificprograms.com




.

OH! DANNY BOY

.

. YouTube has some really great renditions of DANNY BOY!


INSPIRATIONAL


F....U...N..N...Y



ELVIS SINGS DANNY BOY... aah.



BEAUTIFUL ELECTRONIC KEYBOARD VERSION. Sob Sob....




.

Try our GREEN IRISH Drink! (Healthy! & Legal)




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CHIEF HAPPINESS OFFICER - CHO. LOL

My long time friend & attorney Arnie Herz has a GREAT blog on sanity in the legal profession. HO! It's about time!

Read his enlightening post on HAPPY HOUR 9 - 5
& CHIEF HAPPINESS OFFICER for a refreshing and invigorating slant on the new enlightened legal professionals......






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RESCUE HUG

Thanks to Marge in Virginia for this inspiring story on the power of loving hugs!

HOW TO MARKET HEALTH JUICE. LUCILLE BALL

...Our sponsor for this site is our ONLINE HEALTH FOOD STORE. Included in the product offerings are JUICE.

Here Lucille Ball shows one way to market health juice. I think we need to adopt some of her techniques!

Our juice will make you feel pretty good, too!






...

KILLER BISCUITS WANTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER

AN EXAMPLE OF FEAR: FALSE EVIDENCE APPEARING REAL!




PSST! TRY THESE KILLER DIET COOKIES! YOU WON'T HAVE TO HOLD ONTO YOUR BRAINS.



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FAITH - OVERCOMING OBSTACLES

*


The Most Amazing Dog You've Ever Seen

I'm fond of sharing inspirational stories of some of the amazing things from from time to time.

I suspect you'll be as moved as I was to watch this short video about Faith, a dog that walks upright on two legs just like you do.

Faith was rescued by boys trying to clear out a litter of dead puppies. After Faith was cleaned up, her future owners realized she had no front legs, and knew she needed to walk somehow, someway to survive.

You'll be surprised, as I was, to learn how Jude Stringfellow and her family trained Faith, the only known bi-pedal two-legged dog, to do just that.







Story submitted by: Lachman, New York. THANK YOU, LACHMAN!
Please submit your jokes and inspirational stories for publishing on
LAUGHwithPAT.blogspot.com to

patcrosby@gmail.com





+++

CLICK HERE TO SEE WHY PEOPLE MOVE SOUTH

*





PS: Feel free to forward this post!

The world NEEDS chocolate chip diet veggies!




What Can I Eat?

Can't eat beef, mad cow...

Can't eat chicken, bird flu...

Can't eat eggs, Salmonella...

Can't eat pork, fears that bird flu will infect piggies...

Can't eat fish, heavy metals in the
waters has poisoned their meat...

Can't eat fruits and veggies, insecticides and herbicides...

Hmmmmmmmmm!!!!!!!!!!!!!

M

M

M

M

M

MM

MM MMM

MM MMMMMMMM...


I believe that leaves Chocolate!!!!!!!! :)))))))))))


Chocolate is a Vegetable

**

Chocolate is derived from cocoa beans.


Bean = vegetable.

**
Sugar is derived from either sugar cane or sugar BEETS.

**

Both of them are plants, in the vegetable category.

Thus, chocolate is a vegetable.

**

**

To go one step further, chocolate candy bars also contain milk,
which is dairy. So candy bars are a health food.

**

Chocolate-covered raisins, cherries, orange slices, strawberries & chocolate chip cookies all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.



Remember - - -

"STRESSED" spelled backward is "DESSERTS"


Send this to four people and you will lose 2 pounds.


Send this to everyone you know (or ever knew), and you will lose 10 pounds.


(If you delete this message, you will gain 10 pounds immediately.)


"That's why I had to pass this on - - - - - I didn't want to risk it."


LOL !!!




GET YOUR CHOCOLATE STRESS RELIEF VEGETABLES HERE!








************



Of course, anyone knows that it is impossible to play a symphonic work with just three strings. I know that, and you know that, but that night Itzhak Perlman refused to know that....








+++

BEHIND CUSTOMER CARE

Customer service call

This has got to be one of the funniest things I've heard of in a Long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a True phone call from the Word Perfect Help line which was transcribed from a Recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the HelpDesk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the WordPerfect organization for "Termination without Cause." This is actual Dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. Now I know why they record these conversations! "Ridge Hall computer assistance; may I help you?" "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect." "What sort of trouble?" "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away." "Went away?" "They disappeared." "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?" "Nothing." "Nothing?" "It's blank, it won't accept anything when I type." "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?" "How do I tell?" "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?" "What's a sea-prompt?" "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?" "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type." "Does your monitor have a power indicator?" "What's a monitor?" "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?" "I don't know." "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?" "Yes, I think so." "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall." "Yes, it is." "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?" "No." "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable." "Okay, here it is." "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer." "I can't reach." "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?" "No." "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?" "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle -- it's because it's dark." "Dark?" "Yes, the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window." "Well, turn on the office light then." "I can't." "No? Why not?" "Because there's a power failure." "A power... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?" "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet." "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from." "Really? Is it that bad?" "Yes, I'm afraid it is." "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?" "Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer." ***********************************************************

CLICK HERE for CALL CENTER STRESS RELIEF :))) LOL LOL LOL

COOPERATION & CREATIVITY

When people cooperate, amazing, great, and fascinating things can be created.

See this COOL BANK COMMERCIAL from Turkey.


See HOW this amazing video was made!





AMAZING! EAT COOKIES - LOSE WEIGHT :))) LOL!

FRIENDS. The POWER of FRIENDSHIP

One day, when I was a freshman in high school,

I saw a kid from my class was walking home from school.

His name was Kyle.

It looked like he was carrying all of his books.

I thought to myself, "Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday? "He must really be a nerd."
I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a football game with my friends tomorrow afternoon), so I shrugged my shoulders and went on.

As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him.

They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him so he landed in the dirt.

His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him.
He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes

My heart went out to him. So, I jogged over to him and as he crawled around looking for his glasses, and I saw a tear in his eye.

As I handed him his glasses, I said, "Those guys are jerks. "
They really should get lives.

" He looked at me and said, "Hey thanks!"

There was a big smile on his face.

It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude.



I helped him pick up his books, and asked him where he lived.

As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him before.

He said he had gone to private school before now.

I would have never hung out with a private school kid before.

We talked all the way home, and I carried some of his books.

He turned out to be a pretty cool kid.

I asked him if he wanted to play a little football with my friends

He said yes.

We hung out all weekend and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him, and my friends thought the same of him.



Monday morning came! , and there was Kyle with the huge stack o f books again.

I stopped him and said, "Boy, you are gonna really build some serious muscles with this pile of books everyday!

" He just laughed and handed me half the books.

Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends.

When we were seniors, we began to think
about college.

Kyle decided on Georgetown, and I was going to Duke.
I knew that we would always be friends, that the miles would never be a problem.

He was going to be a doctor, and I was going for business on a football scholarship.




Kyle was valedictorian of our class.

I teased him all the time about being a nerd.

He had to prepare a speech for graduation.

I was so glad it wasn't me having to get up there and speak

Graduation day, I saw Kyle. He looked great.

He was one of those guys that really found himself during high school.

He filled out and actually looked good in glasses.

He had more dates than I had and all the girls loved him.



Boy, sometimes I was jealous!
Today was one of those days.
I could see that he was nervous about his speech.



So, I smacked him on the back and said, "Hey, big guy,
you'll be great!"

He looked at me with one of those looks (the really grateful one) and smiled.




"Thanks," he said.
As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, and began.

"Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through those tough years.

Your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach...but mostly your friends...

I am here to tell all of you that being a
friend to someone is the best gift you can give them.

I am going to tell you a story."




I just looked at my friend with disbelief as he told the story of the first day we met.

He had planned to kill himself over the weekend.

He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker so his Mom wouldn't have to do it later and was carrying his stuff home.

He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile.



"Thankfully, I was saved.

My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable."



I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy told us all about his weakest moment.

I saw his Mom and dad looking at me and smiling that same grateful smile.
Not until that moment did I realize it's depth.




Never underestimate the power of your actions.

With one small gesture you can change a person's life.

For better or for worse.

God puts us all in each other's lives to impact one another in some way.

Look for God in others.



You now have two choices, you can:

1) Pass this on to your friends or

2) Delete it and act like it didn't touch your heart.

As you can see, I took choice number 1.
"Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly."

There is no beginning or end.. Yesterday is history.

Tomorrow is mystery.

Today is a gift.

WATER LEAK PROBLEM

Read first, then watch the video on You Tube

This is too funny!

A couple kept getting huge water bills.

They knew beyond a doubt the bills weren't

representative of their actual usage, and no

matter how they tried to conserve, the high bills

continued. Although they could see nothing wrong,

first the water meter, then outdoor pipes, indoor

pipes, underground pipes, faucets, toilets, washer,

ice maker, etc. -- all to no avail.

One day Jim was sick and stayed home in bed.

He kept hearing water running downstairs.

He finally got out of bed to investigate and stumbled on the culprit.

Apparently this was happening all day long when they were not home.

Knowing no one would believe him, he taped a segment of the 'problem'.

CLICK HERE to see the video on You Tube!




Need health products online now?

THE FUNERAL

Morris died. His will provided $50,000 for an elaborate funeral.

As the last attendees left, Morris's wife Rose turned to her oldest friend Sadie and said, "Well, I'm sure Morr is's would be pleased."

"I'm sure you're right," replied Sadie, who leaned in close and lowered her voice to a whisper. "Tell me, how much did it really cost?"

"All of it," said Rose. "Fifty thousand."

"No!" Sadie exclaimed. "I mean, it was very nice, but really... $50,000?"

Rose nodded.;"The funeral was $6,500. I donated $500 to the shul for the Rabbi's services. The shiva food and drinks were another $500. The rest went for the memorial stone."

Sadie computed quickly. "$42,500 for a memorial stone? Oy vey, how big is it?"

"Five and a half carats.

CLICK HERE to see how people are losing weight while drinking.

Is Hell endo or exothermic?

CRITICAL THINKING EXERCISE!


Is Hell endo or exothermic?


>The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington
>chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the
>professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course,
>why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
>
>Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs
>heat)?
>
>Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas
>cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
>
>One student, however, wrote the following:
>
>First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need
>to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which
>they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets
>to Hell, it will never leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
>
>As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different
>Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that
>if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.
>
>Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not
>belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.
>
>With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls
>in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of
>the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the
>temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has
>to expand proportionately as souls are added.
>
>This gives two possibilities:
>
>1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter
>Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all
>Hell breaks loose.
>
>2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the rate at which souls enter
>Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
>
>So which is it?
>
>If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa, (Cheerleader Captain and
>Class Valedictorian) during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day
>in Hell before I sleep with you", and take into account the
>fact that I slept with her last night and again this morning, then number 2
>must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already
>frozen over.
>
>The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows
>that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct...leaving
>only Heaven, and thereby proving the existence of a divine being, which
>explains why Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God!!!"
>
>THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"



LOL LOL LOL LOL





CLICK HERE to read what is NOT so funny about home-based businesses :(




Hey! Did you have much winter where you live? No snow for you Hawaiians?
VIEW slideshow of our snowy wonderland in the Catskill Mountains of New York state on VALENTINE'S DAY.



**********

Celebrating!

A man and his wife are dining at a table in a plush restaurant,
and the husband keeps staring at a drunken lady swigging her
drink as she sits alone at a nearby table.

The wife asks, "Do you know her?"

Yes," sighs the husband, "she's my ex-girlfriend. I understand she
took to drinking right after we split up seven years ago, and I hear
she hasn't been sober since."

"My God!" says the wife. "Who would think a person could go on
celebrating that long?"




*******************************
CLICK HERE to find out how Russian herbs from Sibera mixed with seaweed from Tonga can help YOU relieve STRESS! This is not funny!

God is like..... reports from school children

A fifth grade teacher in a Christian school asked her class to look at TV commercials and see if they could use them in some way to communicate ideas about God. Here are some of the results: scroll down. God is like.. BAYER ASPIRIN He works miracles. God is like... a FORD He's got a better idea. God is like... COKE He's the real thing. (This is great) God is like... HALLMARK CARDS He cares enough to send His very best. God is like.. TIDE He gets the stains out that others leave behind. God is like... GENERAL ELECTRIC He brings good things to life. God is like... SEARS He has everything. God is like.. ALKA-SELTZER Try him, you'll like Him God is like.. SCOTCH TAPE You can't see him, but you know He's there. God is like... DELTA He's ready when you are. God is like... ALLSTATE you're in good hands with Him. God is like... VO-5 Hair Spray He holds through all kinds of weather. God is like... DIAL SOAP Aren't you glad you have Him? Don't you wish everybody did? (that one is my favorite) God is like.... the U.S POST OFFICE Neither rain, nor snow, nor sleet, nor ice will keep Him from His appointed destination. Forward this blessing to people so that they can know what God is like...... BLESSINGS FROM MY HOUSE TO YOUR HOUSE CLICK HERE TO HEAR CHILDREN SINGING 'THIS LITTLE LIGHT OF MINE'

WOW. BE IN AWE. HUBBLE TELESCOPE PHOTO'S

From the Awesome Desk of Pat Crosby



WOW. BE IN AWE. HUBBLE TELESCOPE PHOTO'S




In Sibera, early last century, a CRATER hig planet earth - smashing, scorching, devastaing everything. Miraculously, the plants grew back bigger and stronger than ever. Scientists, studying these awesome new plants, called them ADAPTOGENS - as they adapted so powerfully and readily to these xtreme conditions. Pub Med has many many studies on these biological agents. You can now obtain them in a liquid juice formulation for better health, energy, and overall healing.

LAUGH! LOL! 2 TRUE STORIES. ISN'T KARMA FUNNY!

From the Office of Pat Crosby:


Two Great True Stories

TWO Stories - BOTH TRUE!

STORY NUMBER ONE

Many years ago, Al Capone virtually owned Chicago. Capone wasn't famous for anything heroic. He was notorious for enmeshing the windy city in everything from bootlegged booze and prostitution to murder.

Capone had a lawyer nicknamed "Easy Eddie." He was his lawyer for a good reason. Eddie was very good! In fact, Eddie's skill at legal maneuvering kept Big Al out of jail for a long time. To show his appreciation, Capone paid him very well. Not only was the money big, but also, Eddie got special dividends. For instance, he and his family occupied a fenced-in mansion with live-in help and all of the conveniences of the day. The estate was so large that it filled an entire Chicago City block. Eddie lived the high life of the Chicago mob and gave little consideration to the atrocity that went on around him.

Eddie did have one soft spot, however. He had a son that he loved dearly. Eddie saw to it that his young son had clothes, cars, and a good education. Nothing was withheld. Price was no object. And, despite his involvement with organized crime, Eddie even tried to teach him right from wrong. Eddie wanted his son to be a better man than he was. Yet, with all his wealth and influence, there were two things he couldn't give his son; he couldn't pass on a good name or a good example.

One day, Easy Eddie reached a difficult decision. Easy Eddie wanted to rectify wrongs he had done. He decided he would go to the authorities and tell the truth about Al "Scarface" Capone, clean up his tarnished name, and offer his son some semblance of integrity. To do this, he would have to testify against The Mob, and he knew that the cost would be great. So, he testified.

Within the year, Easy Eddie's life ended in a blaze of gunfire on a lonely Chicago Street. But in his eyes, he had given his son the greatest gift he had to offer, at the greatest price he could ever pay. Police removed from his pockets a rosary, a crucifix, a religious medallion, and a poem clipped from a magazine. The poem read:

The clock of life is wound but once,

And no man has the power

To tell just when the hands will stop

At late or early hour.

Now is the only time you own.

Live, love, toil with a will.

Place no faith in time.

For the clock may soon be still.

STORY NUMBER TWO

World War II produced many heroes. One such man was Lieutenant Commander Butch O'Hare. He was a fighter pilot assigned to the aircraft carrier

Lexington in the South Pacific. One day his entire squadron was sent on a mission. After he was airborne, he looked at his fuel gauge and realized that someone had forgotten to top off his fuel tank. He would not have enough fuel to complete his mission and get back to his ship. His flight leader told him to return to the carrier. Reluctantly, he dropped out of formation and headed back to the fleet.

As he was returning to the mother ship he saw something that turned his blood cold: a squadron of Japanese aircraft were speeding their way toward the American fleet. The American fighters were gone on a sortie, and the fleet was all but defenseless. He couldn't reach his squadron and bring them back in time to save the fleet. Nor could he warn the fleet of the approaching danger. There was only one thing to do. He must somehow divert them from the fleet.

Laying aside all thoughts of personal safety, he dove into the formation of Japanese planes. Wing-mounted 50 caliber's blazed as he charged in, attacking one surprised enemy plane and then another. Butch wove in and out of the now broken formation and fired at as many planes as possible until all his ammunition was finally spent. Undaunted, he continued the assault. He dove at the planes, trying to clip a wing or tail in hopes of damaging as many enemy planes as possible and rendering them unfit to fly. Finally, the exasperated Japanese squadron took off in another direction.

Deeply relieved, Butch O'Hare and his tattered fighter limped back to the carrier. Upon arrival, he reported in and related the event surrounding his return. The film from the gun-camera mounted on his plane told the tale. It showed the extent of Butch's daring attempt to protect his fleet. He had, in fact, destroyed five enemy aircraft. This took place on February 20, 1942, and for that action Butch became the Navy's first Ace of W.W.II, and the first Naval Aviator to be awarded the Congressional Medal of Honor. A year later Butch was killed in aerial combat at the age of 29.

His home town would not allow the memory of this WW II hero to fade, and today, O'Hare Airport in Chicago is named in tribute to the courage of this great man. So, the next time you find yourself at O'Hare International, give some thought to visiting Butch's memorial displaying his statue and his Medal of Honor. It's located between Terminals 1 and 2.

SO WHAT DO THESE TWO STORIES HAVE TO DO WITH EACH OTHER?

Butch O'Hare was "Easy Eddie's" son.

********

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LAUGH! LOL! 2 in a Hospital

From: Pat Crosby


2 in a Hospitl


Two little kids are in a hospital lying on stretchers next to each
other
outside the operating room.

The first kid leans over and asks, "What are you in here for?"

The second kid says, "I'm in here to get my tonsils out and I'm a
little nervous."


The first kid says, "You've got nothing to worry about. I had that
done when I was four. They put you to sleep, and when you wake up they
give you lots of jello and ice cream. It's a breeze."


The second kid then asks, "What are you here for?"

The first kid says, "A circumcision."

"Whoa!" the second kid replies, "Good luck buddy, I had that done
when I was born. Couldn't walk for a year."




Need better nutrition? Recipes and facts for better eating. Less money, faster, top nutrition

LAUGH! LOL! LICENSE TO PILL! Anti-drug video cartoon

From: Pat Crosby


LAUGH! LOL! LICENSE TO PILL! Anti-drug video cartoon


From: The Office of Pat Crosby





Licensed to Pill video. Lots of fun :)


http://www.cafeoflifepikespeak.com/Videos/Licensed%20To%20Pill.swf

Online Health Food Store. Get ALL your essentials. Low prices. Hi quality for YOU. Home delivery. 40+ countries.


Immune boosting green drink from the treasury of the ocean. With ADAPTOGEN HERBS from Russia. Boost your energy. Boost your immune system. Feel better now.

MAN HITS GUARD RAIL AND FLIPS END OVER END OVER THAT CULVERT!

THIS LAST YEAR'S DARWIN AWARDS

From; Pat Crosby




THIS LAST YEAR'S DARWIN AWARDS



#1 award is facinating.....


It's that time again... The Darwin Awards are finally out, the annual
honor given to the persons who did the gene pool the biggest service
by killing themselves in the most extraordinarily stupid way. Last year's
winner was the fellow who was killed by a Coke machine which toppled
over on top of him as he was attempting to tip a free soda out. This year's
winner was a real rocket scientist... HONEST! Read on...And
remember that each and every one of these is a TRUE STORY.

And the nominees were:

*Semifinalist #1*
A young Canadian man, searching for a way of getting drunk cheaply,
because he had no money with which to buy alcohol, mixed gasoline with
milk. Not surprisingly, this concoction made him ill, and he vomited
into the fireplace in his house. This resulting explosion and fire
burned his house down, killing both him and his sister.

*Semifinalist #2*
Three Brazilian men were flying in a light aircraft at low altitude
when another plane approached. It appears that they decided to moon
the occupants of the other plane, but lost control of their own
aircraft and crashed. They were all found dead in the wreckage with
their pants around their ankles.

*Semifinalist #3*
A 22-year-old Reston, VA, man was found dead after he tried to use
octopus straps to bungee jump off a 70-foot rail road trestle. Fairfax
County police said Eric Barcia, a fast food worker, taped a bunch of
these straps together, w rapped an end around one foot, anchored the
other end to the trestle at Lake Accotink Park, jumped and hit the
pavement. Warren Carmichael, a police spokesman, said investigators
think Barcia was alone because his car was found nearby. "The length
of the cord that he had assembled was greater than the distance
between the trestle and the ground, "Carmichael said. Police say
the apparent cause of death was "Major trauma." [not to mention ?Major Stupidity?]

*Semifinalist #4
*A man in Alabama died from rattlesnake bites. It seems that he and a
friend were playing a game of catch, using the rattlesnake as a ball.
The friend - no doubt a future Darwin Awards candidate - was
hospitalized. [for once I'm on the snake's side!]

*Semifinalist #5
*Employees in a medium-sized warehouse in west Texas noticed the smell
of a gas leak. Sensibly, management evacuated the building
extinguishing all potential sources of ignition; lights, power, etc.
After the building had been evacuated, two technicians from the gas
company were dispatched. Upon entering the building, they found they
had difficulty navigating in the dark. To their frustration, none of
the lights worked. Witnesses later described the sight of one of the technicians reaching into his pocket and retrieving an object that resembled a cigarette lighter. Upon operation of the lighter-like object, the gas in the warehouse exploded, sending pieces of it up to three miles away. Nothing was found of the technicians, but the lighter was virtually untouched by the
explosion. The technician suspected of causing the blast had never been thought of as ''bright'' by his peers.

*Now ladies and gentleman*, the winner of this year's Darwin Award
(awarded, as always, posthumously):
The Arizona Highway Patrol came upon a pile of smoldering metal
embedded in the side of a cliff rising above the road at the apex of a
curve. The wreckage resembled the site of an airplane crash, but it
was a car. The type of car was unidentifiable at the scene. Police
investigators finally pieced together the mystery. An amateur rocket
scientist... had somehow gotten hold of a JATO unit (Jet Assisted Take
Off, actually a solid fuel rocket) that is used to give heavy military transport planes an extra "push" for taking off from short airfields.
He had driven his Chevy Impala out into the desert and found a long,
straight stretch of road. He attached the JATO unit to the car,
jumped in, got up some speed and fired off the JATO!

The facts as best as could be determined are that the operator of the
1967 Impala hit the JATO ignition at a distance of approximately 3.0
miles from the crash site. This was established by the scorched and
melted asphalt at that location.
The JATO, if operating properly, would have reached maximum thrust
within 5 seconds, causing the Chevy to reach speeds well in excess of
350 mph and continuing at full power for an additional 20-25 seconds.
The driver, and soon to be pilot, would have experienced G-forces
usually reserved for dog fighting F-14 jocks under full afterburners, causing him to become irrelevant for the remainder of the event. However, the automobile remained on the straight highway for about 2.5 miles (15-20
seconds) before the driver applied and completely melted the brakes,
blowing the tires and leaving thick rubber marks on the road surface,
then becoming airborne for an additional 1.4 miles and impacting the
cliff face at a height of 125 feet leaving a blackened crater 3 feet
deep in the rock. Most of the driver's remains were not recoverable.
However, small fragments of bone, teeth and hair were extracted from
the crater, and fingernail and bone shards were removed from a piece of
debris believed to be a portion of the steering wheel.

Epilogue: It has been calculated that this moron attained a ground
speed of approximately 420-mph, though much of his voyage was not
actually on the ground.

You couldn't make this stuff up, could you?





http://patcrosby.googlepages.com/patcrosby

LAUGH. LOL. INSPIRATION. 12 YEAR OLD SPIRITUAL PAINTER

From: Pat Crosby


You might have seen this on TV. We saw her on the View this past week. This girl will amaze you with her beautiful paintings. Fantastic!

Must see video from CNN

This is so awesome...takes 2 minutes to watch...
http://tinyurl.com/yxewot

http://patcrosby.googlepages.com/patcrosby

LAUGH. LOL. DOGGY WISDOM. Cute Doggie Photos with Philosophy Quotes.

LAUGH. LOL. DOGGY WISDOM. Cute Doggie Photos with Philosophy Quotes.



http://patcrosby.googlepages.com/patcrosby

PAINTED HANDS

http://www.google.com/base/a/1506627/D6900564549765154972


PAINTED HANDS. YOU WON'T BELIEVE THESE HANDS!



http://patcrosby.googlepages.com/patcrosby